Randog the Underdog Watchdog Takes a Bite Out of Crime

When you think of Randog the Underdog Watchdog think of Ralph Nader on all fours with protruding fangs, a brain the size of a watermelon and a face resembling a common tater. If that doesn't srike the Fear of the Almighty in you I can't think of anything more fear striking off the top of my scar-free skull. But without such a Human Rights Advocate and Consumer Protection Bulldog acting in defense of the Underdogs of this world, how long can the bells of freedom toll until they are silenced by all the howling?

I will now offer up an example that is fully adorned in fresh pain that was generously applied to the Cerebral Cortex region of my Corpus Proper or thereabouts. Those who know me also know that I have always had trouble establishing a long term and committed relationship with a cell phone, whether a Motorola, Nokia or Samsung model. The beautiful Samsung that recently left me without warning because of something I said or didn't say is a perfectly good example - I was ready to settle down but I guess she wasn't. I've called her over and over but she won't return my calls; I get my own voicemail instead.

Since she might have taken up residence with someone who has relatives in Hong Kong I decided it was best to file a Missing Cell Phone report with the phone company if not the Police. I doubted if the police would start an investigation but I knew the cell phone company would at least have some sympathy for my plight. It was then that I descended into the Lake of Fire called Customer Service - I devoted an entire rant to the telephonic aspects of the Hellish Ordeal and now it is time to relate the cyber side of same.

You see, the reason that I resorted to the telephone trap to begin with is that the link to customer service and account management on their Web site is broken. Hence the rage that comes over me when the recorded voice reminds me over and over of the fact that I can be snatched from Fire Lake if I can only solve the URL mystery and direct my browser there somehow. So I finally wrote an email to their customer support department pleading for help if not salvation and relief from eternal damnation. When they wrote back three days later and sent me the broken link my head hit the ceiling of the apartment above me.

I hereby fire a warning shot to the head of the company that has dared to provoke the Underdog Watchdog who is known as Randog the Bulldog! I will not disclose their name except to drop the mysterious clue that it has to do with something runners do in their dash to the finish line of short distance running events. I will pass this along to them in the form of a reply to the offending "broken link" email and pray that it is not the missing link in the evolutionary sense of the phrase who receives it. Should a biped receive it and pass it up the chain of its ancestral management levels, perhaps some good will result and I will succeed in reporting my recent abandonment by that Samsung hussy. If not, the War will get Ugly and I will actually report the company's name instead of using kid gloves like I did in this missive.

Fair warning, wouldn't you say?