Please Consider Adopting My Point of View

Having to have a point of view about anything and everything in the friggin' world is a lot of work, in case you haven't noticed. The problem with having a point of view about anything whatsoever is that everybody else has their own point of view about it, and the odds of them sharing yours are like the odds of having identical snowflakes land on your nose. It's just not going to happen. And yet there never was a war or conflict of any kind between human beings that did not arise from differing points of view about this or that ridiculous thing. What's up with that?

The problem with having a point of view in the first place is that you are always being called upon to defend it against everyone else's point of view. This gets very tiring after a while, say about three seconds or so. Even though everybody in the world is entitled to my point of view, nobody ever seems to take it and I can't say I blame them. The darn thing is such high maintenance and low output. But I don't see their points of view paying off any huge rewards or I would be adopting theirs, wouldn't you?

The idea of adopting a point of view is quite funny if you think about it. Perhaps I can start an agency where people can put their points of view up for adoption. I wish someone would adopt mine so I wouldn't have to take care of it anymore. I would have to make sure there was no way my point of view could ever find me again after someone else adopted it. The last thing you want is to have some angry point of view showing up on your doorstep years later, claiming you abandoned it and all! No, once your point of view is adopted by someone else it should be their responsibility to maintain from that point forward. No turning back.

To illustrate my point of view I submit the following:

A doctor tells his patient he has some good news and some bad news for him. The bad news is that he only has 3 months to live, and the good news is that he - the doctor - is sleeping with his gorgeous new receptionist!

Obviously from the patient's point of view that was not good news at all. And it was only good news from the receptionist's point of view if there was a raise involved at the very least.

Is there a single point of view that encompasses ALL points of view? Or is there a single point of view that is not a point of view at all? Mystics, sages and comedians have asked these questions over the centuries but their answers always depend on their points of view (damn). Since I already have a point of view and find it very hard to juggle more than one at a time, I've never been able to adopt any of theirs on a full time, permanent basis. It's not that I wouldn't pass all the rigorous tests and background checks required to adopt a point of view - there are no blotches on my record or skeletons in my closet that would prevent me from being the responsible custodian of someone else's precious point of view. I just don't want the little bugger, that's all.

On the other hand, you may want to consider adopting my point of view as your very own. It's an easy-going, playful point of view for the most part. Very laid back, likes children, and good with pets. Forget what I said about high maintenance and low output - it basically feeds itself and doesn't need much defending since it is absolutely right most of the time. Having an adopted point of view around the house can come in quite handy at times, especially when yours has become tiresome or hard to defend. Just take mine for a while, but don't come complaining to me if someone challenges it! It's your problem now, pal!

Call my new POV Adotion Agency if you would like to place your point of view up for adotpion by others. We will find a good home for your point of view, where it will be nourished, cared for and protected in a way that you may or may not be able to do. If you would like to adopt someone else's point of view, we have thousands to choose from. Call now and one of our POV Adoption Experts will be eager to help you.

Don't miss out on this great opportunity! Operators are standing by.